Ten Words #5: Honor Your Parents

With the 5th word, we move from the first tablet of commands to the second. The first focuses on our vertical relationship with God. The second tablet deals with our horizontal relationships within the community.

This is the only commandment that contains a promise. Respecting one’s parents somehow leads to a sense of blessing in this life. But what exactly does this promise mean? And how do we respect our parents?

First, remember that these Ten Words weren’t delivered to Mrs. Murphy’s Sunday school class. Do you remember Mrs. Murphy’s Sunday school class? The name isn’t important, but you know the kind of teacher I’m talking about. She’s the one who taught you the books of the New Testament, made you quote the twenty-third psalm in old English, and told you to obey your parents. Without ever telling you it was the fifth commandment, she put the fear of God into you as she prompted you to mind your mom and dad.

I know what you’re thinking: “If only our world had more Mrs. Murphys today!” I kind of agree. But that’s not entirely what this is all about. Oh sure, Paul quotes it as part of the household code in Ephesians 6:1-3. Clearly, it does apply to children. But there’s far more than that.

Second, if we go back to its origins, the command to “honor father and mother” is a rule given to adults. It’s spoken to the assembled congregation—which would not have included kids. Grown-ups were told to honor their parents. Now why would this be so important?

I wonder how hard it was for Rachel to honor her scoundrel father Laban. How did things work out for Rachel? I wonder how well Jacob’s children honored their conniving father. How did their lives go? Or consider Absalom, son of David! We can go through the Bible listing example after example of the shipwrecked lives of people who didn't respect their parents.

You see, the ability to honor one’s parents has direct bearing on how well our lives go. This would be easy if our parents always acted honorably. But we know the truth. Granted, some do have the most honorable of parents, but even in those cases grown children find ways to dishonor mother or father. More often than not, we eventually learn that our parents weren’t perfect. Honoring them isn’t easy.

If you think it's tough for you, try to imagine that you are the people of Israel preparing to cross into the Promised Land. You’ve just wasted an entire generation wandering in the wilderness. Why? Well, it’s because your parents were faithless. They doubted God and failed to claim God's promises. The point of Moses' instruction is that you must now find a way to honor your parents even though many of them acted dishonorably.

What about honoring our parents today? How can we experience the blessing, healing and freedom that come from honoring our parents as we release grudges, wounds & disappointments? I believe there are clear things we can do to honor even the most dishonorable of parents . . . and in the process claim the promise of God that it will go well with us and with our descendants. There's great blessing in honoring our parents.