Forgiveness vs. Transactional Forgiveness

Do you practice transactional forgiveness or just plain forgiveness? Here's the difference:

Transactional forgiveness says, "I forgive you, but you have to grovel and be in the doghouse for a long time."
Plain forgiveness says, "I forgive you."

Transactional forgiveness says, "I forgive you, but I'm going to hold this over your head as long as I like."
Forgiveness says, "I forgive you."

Transactional forgiveness says, "I forgive you, but from now on you'll never be equal to me."
Forgiveness says, "I forgive you."

Transactional forgiveness says, "I'll forgive you if you somehow do enough to prove to me that you've earned it."
Plain forgiveness says, "I forgive you."

Transactional forgiveness flows out of fury & rage.
Forgiveness flows out of love.

Transactional forgiveness comes from a heart filled with the fear of deprivation.
Forgiveness comes from a heart filled with gratitude for God's abundant provision.

Which one do you most often practice ... with your spouse? with your kids? with your brothers & sisters? with your friends? with those who hurt you?

Comments

r.d.bailey said…
Can you refer me to any resources on this topic of Transactional Forgiveness. I am encountering it in the counseling community and churches in my area ( Australia ). It is causing great misunderstanding and conflict. I would like to write a good biblically bases argument against TF... really all I would be doing is teaching what real forgiveness is... as you posted. Thanks
Richard Bailey MTW Church Planter Perth Australia.

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